I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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