i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
