We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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