yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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