I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
