The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
