It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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