North Korea, Best Korea!
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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