I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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