i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
