I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
