the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
