Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize