I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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