new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
it's like iHOP with fire
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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