Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
