in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
