I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
