I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He? As in you personified your dick?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
