Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
