Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
