How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
