My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
