Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
