just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Randomize
