my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize