He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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