OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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