She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
