fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
