We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
