i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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