i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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