Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
