haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
