well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
