Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
How does one acquire holy water?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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