my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I want her autograph on my taint
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize