Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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