Why are handjobs necessary in class?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
