This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
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