At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
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