I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
This is my gift to your gina
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
