so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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