Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
