I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Randomize
