the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Is it because I queefed?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
