i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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