How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I just forgot I was standing up.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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