just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
tequila makes me forget i have legs
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
