So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
