I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
