He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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