Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
